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April 25, 2014


We all want to love and be loved in return but some of us actually need to find the love inside of us before we can even begin to love someone else. You cannot give what you do not have. I’ve come to agree with Whitney Houston (of blessed memory) that the ‘greatest love of all is learning to love yourself’. In the last year I’ve taken out time to rediscover myself; I’ve become my own best friend. Yes, I love me very much and appreciate the person I am. I know what I like and what I dislike. I’ve learnt to respect and honour myself…..Often, in our bid to show love to our spouses or family members and friends, we neglect ourselves. We just give and give and give then end up spreading ourselves too thin which usually leads to resentment when the love is not given in the same measure but when we love and value ourselves, sometimes saying NO to requests from others is a way of affirming the love we have for ourselves. Right now, I love myself too much to succumb to situations that will make me unhappy just so I can please someone else…(And no, that’s not selfishness).

Society has taught us that our worth and value can be found in external things like status, power, money, beauty, sex and romantic relationships which has made us insecure overtime. That feeling of not being enough; compared to the pretty girl in your office, there’s no way anyone will look your way or comparing your status to that of your rich neighbour or thinking your life will be more valuable if you worked with SHELL/NLNG or trying to keep up with the Kardashians….. you will end up living someone else’s life while your own life suffers from neglect and rejection. In order to feel worthy, you must first accept and love the person you are – it begins from within. What you project into the world comes back to you. You feel beautiful inside, you’ll attract all things beautiful. Even when you don’t get it right, forgive yourself and try again. No one is perfect. We have all failed at one point or another. Are there things you’ve done in the past that you feel bad about? It’s ok. We’ve all been down that lonely road. It’s time to forgive yourself and let go. Whatever happened in your past should remain IN YOUR PAST.

For far too long, most of us have had the mind-set that we’ll meet the guy/lady of our dreams and they’ll love us silly and bring out the best in us. Partly true but I’ve come to realise that being happy and loving yourself is the greatest form of love you will ever experience. No one can love you more than you love yourself. I met this young lady recently who had just come out of a broken relationship and was already asking to be introduced to guys because she was ‘lonely’ and needed a relationship. Yeah, we all know it’s nice to have someone as a companion but jumping in and out of relationships to avoid loneliness? That desperate need to be with someone just because your own company irritates you…this is the mind-set that keeps most of us in unhealthy relationships. We don’t believe we deserve to be happy; we even feel guilty buying anything nice for ourselves like we’re not worth it.

If you’re reading this now, search your heart and have a conversation with yourself: ‘self, how have you been lately? are you really happy? Is there anything you need right now? What can I do to make things better? Are there people in your life making you unhappy?’ Listen to that inner voice and take the necessary steps to put things right and get back in tune. I tell you the greatest investment you’ll ever make is in yourself. Enjoy your life and be willing to say ‘NO’ to people and situations that can make you unhappy. If you’ve worked hard all week and you feel like resting at the weekend, by all means do so. When friends call to hangout or do something crazy simply tell them you’re having some ‘me’ time. The same friends will leave you in time of trouble and who will you turn to? YOU! Indeed, you’re all you’ve got. In the journey of life, husbands may leave, children will grow up and leave; then you look around and who can you rely on? Same old YOU.

To wives, when you’re busy running around making sure everyone has had a meal, laundry is sorted and hubby and kids are in bed, you sef find food chop o…….For husbands, when you’re busy paying all the bills, spending money on your wife and kids, find time to reward yourself too…after all, you worked hard for the money. It’s ok to be INLOVE AND HAPPY with yourself. Don’t feel guilty. You’re special, you’re beautiful and you deserve the very best.

Happy weekend all……*hugs*

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From → Lifestyle

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