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September 5, 2015

By Chinedu Ezigbo

I was lucky to have been privy to some information before it got to the general public; before, during, and after the last presidential elections in Nigeria. It was not too much of a surprise to me that the former President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan called to congratulate his opponent, because I had been reliably told that Goodluck Ebele Jonathan had already lost the elections not because he was defeated at the polls but because he was schemed out. I however refused to accept that, since my unbelief got the best of me.

The following days and weeks was tough for me so much so that I on my own declared the presidency sede vacante until 2019, and I went ahead to write a riot act for the interest of those who may want to step their bounds, whatever I find that to be. And this has remained so ever since and not without casualties.

However this is not supposed to be about the days preceding May 29, 2015 but those after it. So, let me quickly tell you how His Excellency Goodluck Ebele Jonathan spent the last 100 days since he left the presidency.

He wakes up at 9:00am most mornings. Morning devotion follows. Followed by coffee, tea, or freshly picked and naturally grown Otueke fruits shared with his wife, his mother and kids (who are still on recess from school). He reads the dailies, calls Emeka Anyaoku as promised; calls Gov. Wike to have a laugh; calls Muazu to exchange pleasantries; gets on the phone with his married daughters to admonish them to remain humble. And then its 11:30am – shower, brunch, and continues to mind his business.

For a former number one citizen of a country that will be a boring and uneventful life. The big action however is not with what he does himself but in what others have been doing since 100 days.

Doyin Okupe once said and I agree “Jonathan is like Jesus Christ”. How else does anyone explain the fact that GEJ, Jonathan, Goodluck – all names referring to the same individual is still the most mentioned, used, and abused name in Nigeria before, after May 29, 2015, till this moment? Just like Christ who still gains followers and critics long after he was murdered.

We know he took a vacation in England. Then he admonished Nigerians to support the efforts of the current government; and then he was invited to Aso Rock for some vague reason that has remained within a huge speculative percentage. There is so much in the news that nothing on him (and his wife of course) qualifies the side of bed he slept on to be news. So also we know Christ arose; was on the way to Emmaus; was challenged by Thomas; but there was so much in the news that his ‘disappearance’ from the guarded tomb was reduced to thievery.

In the last 100 days this man maintained that confidence that is strong enough not to be bothered by wanton propaganda that has become day job for some and yet he remains patriotic enough to pity a nation being led by the ears to the slaughter house. He also would have spent the last 100 days minding whatever business he gained for himself, if he did. For if he did not, he also comes across as one who has within this time been making plans to hit the chalkboard of one of our tertiary schools. Christ as well must have ignored the ignoble propaganda about his death and resurrection, fulfilled that he has finally cemented the foundation from which no one can pull his people by the ear towards death. And even made future plan for the Paraclete who will hit the chalkboard and continue to give direction.

While I do not think him as haven had a onerous 100 days, I do find him thinking to himself and referring to those whom it may concern: ‘never try to fuck up someone’s life with a lie when yours can be destroyed with the truth’ and this thought of course has becomes a cliché for those with whom he exited 100 days ago. For the truth is that in the last 100 days GEJ has not himself had to tell the truth, the truth has always come from his former ministers who have equally been supposedly resting. They have often taken time to counter each and every lie told to mislead Nigerians and that so far kills the lie while another cooks.

I cannot help recalling former presidents who stayed under the nose of the nations politics and affairs soon after they left office. A clear indication of ‘sit-tight’ and or ‘step-aside’ syndromes common among former leaders and rulers via their acquisition of the notorious status of godfather.

The fun of the current time is that the nation already have with it the future of a long time to come, and the best part will be the marking of a past 100 days since the pre-humus and posthumous disgrace of these godfathers, who may never have come across this words or imbibed anything like it:

“The world is a devastating place, you must learn to protect your emotions if you wish to prevent matters both of law and love from devastating you” – Belle.

So, let it therefore be known that whether we agree to it or not, that this nation which has been polarized owe its people the knowledge that there is more truth that we are blind to, and if that is anything to go by then they all must know that His Excellency Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan, GCFR spent the last 100 days chilling and Mama Peace let down her hair.


Chinedu Ezigbo hails from Abatete, Nigeria.

From → Politics

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